


Glimpsed

by Lediona



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Arguments, Blow Jobs, Drabble Collection, Falling In Love, Flirting, Goodbyes, Humour, Laughter, Loyalty, M/M, Nightmares, cute boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-13 13:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 39
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21495373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lediona/pseuds/Lediona
Summary: A collection of Thomas/Richard drabbles - set post-film
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Comments: 52
Kudos: 198





	1. Power

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So whenever I write a fic, I end up writing longer stories and I've struggled to write anything shorter. In an effort to get past this roadblock, I set myself a challenge to write a series of drabbles about Thomas and Richard's relationship. I had a blast but man, it was HARD. I may add more to this series if you guys like them. (These are unbetaed so apologies for any errors!)

Thomas’s bicep strained against his shirtsleeve. Sweat gathered at his brow. He huffed out a breath and focused on the point where their hands were clasped together.

It was a deadlock, neither of them giving a centimeter.

Across from him, Richard made a pained noise and Thomas hazarded a look at his red-tinged face — he was struggling.

Determined, Thomas inhaled and summoned a burst of power. Slowly, he pushed Richard’s hand down to meet the table. 

“I win,” Thomas declared, smug despite his sore arm. “Pints on you.”

Under the table, Richard’s toe nudged his own. “Round two’ll be later.”


	2. Broad

They were meandering; it was too hot to walk anywhere with purpose. 

The sun sparkled across the surface of the Serpentine, where a child sailed a toy boat on a string. His blond head reminded Thomas of Master George and he smiled at the boy fondly.

But Downton was far away, and for now, he was free. 

Richard had continued on and Thomas lengthened his stride to catch up, appreciating his form in silhouette — a lanky gait, broad shoulders, gleaming golden hair.

_Mine_, Thomas thought, reaching his side.

“There you are,” Richard said, low and intimate. 

“I’m here.”

“I’m glad.”


	3. Hoodwink

“Come on.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s silly.”

“No sillier than putting on Sir Harry Barnston in order to hoodwink Mr Wilson.”

“That was different.”

“Why?”

“Because I was doing that to impress you.”

“And you did,” Thomas said, pressing a kiss into Richard’s knuckles. “This will impress me too.”

“It most certainly will not.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Do it.” Thomas poked him in the back and pulled back the duvet. “The sooner you sing, the sooner you can get back under here with me.”

Richard whined but dragged himself off the bed to sing for Thomas.


	4. Train

Richard’s shoulder pressed into his, the touch desperate and crushing. They hadn’t spoken in long minutes. A whistle blew, indicating that departure was imminent and still Thomas lingered. 

Here they were again, standing on a platform at Kings Cross Station. This was the place where they said hello and goodbye. 

Today it was goodbye.

The tendrils of longing had begun curling around him from that first step inside the station, only binding tighter as he climbed onto the train.

Settling into his seat, he exhaled raggedly and glanced out the window.

Richard raised his hand in farewell.

“Goodbye,” Thomas whispered.


	5. Torment

Gasping, Thomas threw off the twisting confines of his blankets and sat up, feet landing hard on the cold wooden floor. 

The monsters of his dreams were still present in the darkness of the room. He could feel them. If only he could scrub away his skin or run away or shut his eyes forever. Yet he would never escape them.

The bed shifted behind him. “Thomas?” Richard whispered, wary.

A sob wrenched itself from his throat and he covered his face, embarrassed by his lack of control.

“Thomas, you’re safe, I promise.”

He shook his head. “They torment me.”


	6. Butter

Thomas quickly popped the last bite of toast into his mouth but not before even more of the melted butter and honey dripped down his fingers. Not wanting to make a mess, he found himself licking the sticky sweet mixture from his hand.

“Thomas,” Richard barked.

Thomas looked up innocently. “What?”

“That’s indecent.”

Not breaking eye contact, Thomas licked a long stripe from wrist to fingertip. “It tastes delicious.”

A feral look passed across Richard’s face and then he was lunging forward, sucking Thomas’ fingers into his mouth and swirling his tongue slowly around them.

Thomas moaned. “_That_ is indecent.”


	7. Duck

Thomas eagerly tore open the envelope and unfolded Richard’s letter, his first in over a week. It was a completely ordinary letter until he got to the part about the luncheon with the Duchess of Lancaster. 

At Richard’s detailed description of the Duchess’s parrot getting drunk on gin punch, Thomas released a loud, surprised honk of laughter, sounding exactly like a duck. He clapped a hand over his mouth, mortified.

Everyone stopped talking immediately and turned to gape at him, before slowly devolving into fits of giggles.

That was the last time he read his letters at the staff table.


	8. Goad

“He’s a looker.”

“Stop it.”

“You have to admit he’s attractive.”

“I have eyes, Richard.”

“Well, go chat to him.”

“Stop trying to goad me into this.”

“You enjoy it just as much as I do.”

“You have no proof of that.”

“I sure do — the way you preen under the attention is ridiculous.”

“Says the man who gets off on watching his boyfriend flirt with other men.”

“Thomas, you are the most beautiful man in here. They might think they have a chance with you, but it’s my name you’ll be shouting later on tonight.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Go.”

“Okay.”


	9. Warmth

They met outside the station in York with handshakes and suppressed smiles, quickly agreeing to head to a nearby pub. It had snowed lightly the previous night and the city now sparkled in the weak winter sunlight. As they walked, twin halos of mist rose above their heads in the cold and their shoes crunched loudly on the icy ground.

Despite wearing leather gloves, Thomas’s fingers were numb. He rubbed his hands together, wishing desperately that he could reach across the divide between their bodies and take hold of Richard’s hand for warmth. In another world that might be possible.


	10. Glass

“What happened here?” Richard asked, smoothing the pad of his finger along the toughened line.

Thomas twisted his hand around to assess the scar on his pinkie finger. “I cut it on a wine glass my first year in service.”

“Were you a clumsy lad?”

Feigning offence, Thomas withdrew his hand. “No! The first footman tripped with a tray of glasses and I made the mistake of trying to catch it.”

“Ouch.”

“Indeed. Lots of blood on the dining room carpet, but I was promoted in his place.”

Richard laughed and reached for Thomas’s hand again, gently kissing the scar.


	11. Wanted

Thomas squirmed, breathless with laughter. “No, stop, please.”

But Richard continued his relentless attack on Thomas’s hip bones, licking, sucking and nibbling the tender alabaster skin, all while holding down his flailing limbs.

“Stop! This isn’t want I wanted — it tickles!” he gasped. His voice had gone all high and reedy, which only seemed to spur Richard on.

After an unbearable amount of time, Richard lifted his head, eyes bright with mischief. “What did you want, then?”

Flushing, Thomas ran his thumb over Richard’s smiling lips and rasped, “Your mouth.”

Then, finally, he was engulfed in a warm, wet heat.


	12. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I'm writing these instead of completing IRL tasks.... enjoy!]

“The King and Queen are ready to depart,” Carson informed them from the stairs, and then spotting Richard, he added, “Ah, Mr Ellis, I bid you farewell and safe travels back to London.”

Richard smiled benignly, considering him. “Thank you, Mr Carson. I’m sure you are looking forward to getting back to your retirement and returning Downton to Mr Barrow’s capable hands.”

The veiled insult hit its mark and Carson pursed his lips in displeasure. Thomas knew he wanted to assert his authority and leave a good impression on the royal household. Richard shattered that illusion.

It felt like revenge.


	13. Christmas

“Mr Barrow, there’s someone at the backdoor for you.”

Thomas stopped his perusal of the list of tasks in his hands and looked up at Mrs Hughes. “Who is it? I’m not expecting the deliveries until this afternoon.”

“Well, why don’t you go and find out.”

Irritated by the interruption and confused by her mysterious attitude, he pulled open the door. In the courtyard stood a man in a grey wool coat, black hat and a blue scarf, holding a valise in his hand.

“What are you doing here?” he gasped, voice full of wonder.

Richard grinned. “Happy Christmas, Thomas.”


	14. Memories

“It’s nowt to do with you,” Thomas hissed, wrenching away from Richard.

“Oh, forgive me for asking about your life.”

“Just because we fuck doesn’t mean you deserve to know every detail of my past.”

Eyes hard, Richard snapped, “Is that all this is to you, a fuck?”

“Of course not! I love you, you insufferable prig, but there are some memories I don’t want to share. Things I’ve done, things I’ve seen. I’m not proud of who I used to be.”

“You think I’m not running from my own demons?” 

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I am.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”


	15. Grieving

_Downton is grieving,_ Thomas wrote, adding a postscript to his latest letter to Richard. _We received word that the Dowager Countess passed away last night. They family is devastated and the house is abnormally quiet. No one dares to make any noise, as though it would be an affront to her memory. _

_When Lady Sybil died, I won’t deny that I grieved her as a friend. However, I am finding it difficult to be sad today. The Dowager lived a long, colourful life. Her death feels like the end of an era — her reign has come to a close._


	16. Safe

Thomas woke gradually, a slow return to consciousness through the warm, dreamy ether of his mind. Through his eyelids, the predawn light took on a rosy hue, as though the ether might extend outside his body. The idea was odd but soothing. He suddenly wondered if this was how babies felt when they were held by their mothers, loved and cherished. Even his own must have swaddled him close at some point. That was likely the last time he felt this safe and content. Thirty-two years of cold loneliness, and now he was finally experiencing it again, here in Richard’s arms.


	17. Sentimental

“That’ll be all Miss Baxter.”

She rose from the chair opposite but paused before departing his office. “What’s that you’re holding?”

Thomas looked down at his hand, where Richard’s medallion lay twisted in his fingers. He hadn’t even realised he was holding it. Casting about for a lie, Thomas met her eye and knew he would never fool her.

“T’were a gift. I was feeling sentimental today.”

Phyllis’s eyes were warm and she gave him a soft, shy smile. “It’s good to hold those we love in mind.”

“It makes me feel closer to. . .” Thomas swallowed thickly. “. . .him.” 

“Oh, Thomas.”


	18. Snuggling

The wind whipped around the open-top car causing his hair to come loose from its pomade. He held his hat clasped tightly in his lap. 

This all still felt a bit surreal — Thomas wasn’t quite certain how he came to be squashed between Richard and Tom Branson in the backseat of Mr Talbot’s Bentley, with Lady Mary in the passenger seat, on their way to York. 

The lack of space made him anxious about his proximity to Branson, so to compensate he pressed firmly into Richard’s side, practically snuggling. 

It was the best and worst car journey of his life.


	19. Salt

Their bodies had long since cooled but still they lay wrapped up in each other, Thomas reveling in the feeling of Richard’s weight pinning him to the bed. 

Exhaustion was creeping up on him, threatening to pull him under into sleep, but Thomas wasn’t ready to submit to it, too overwhelmed by what they had just shared. He wanted to remember each second of their love-making. His body sang with the reverberations of it; the press of Richard within, above and around him, his skin tattooed by fingerprints.

Lovingly, Thomas kissed Richard’s shoulder. His lips came away tasting of salt.


	20. Heart

_My heart is yours._

Thomas read and reread those words until they began to blur on the page and lose their meaning.

_My heart is yours._

They ran through his head as he oversaw the family luncheon, providing a cadence to which he directed the service of the meal.

_My heart is yours._

Hours after reading them, Thomas started to believe the truth behind them, that Richard was his and he was Richard’s. 

_My heart is yours._

By nightfall, they were a lullaby, one that caused his soul to ache in the most breathtaking way and soothed him to sleep.


	21. Key

Thomas’s heart was in his throat as they walked through the lobby of the small hotel in Bath. He was very aware of the suitcase in his hand as he followed Richard up the stairs and down the corridor to room 14. 

They paused outside the door and Richard pulled a brass key from his pocket, twisting it in the lock. Thomas cast an anxious glance up and down the corridor before stepping inside and setting his case next to Richard’s on the luggage stand.

“Here we are,” Richard said, a soft half-smile on his face.

“I can’t believe it.”


	22. Chocolate

“I don’t want to be the cause of any regret,” he whispered. He hated seeing Richard so overwrought with stress.

“No, don’t ever think that,” Richard urged. “It’s the right decision, I know it is, Thomas. I’ll be nearer to you, and my parents, which is all I want, truly, but I can’t help worrying over it.”

Thomas watched him stew in silence and felt helpless. “Hot chocolate?”

Richard looked up, confused. “What?”

“It’s what Mrs Hughes always suggested whenever I were going through a difficult time,” he mumbled, shoulders up to his ears, cheeks pink. “It seemed to help.”


	23. Confession

“There’s something I should tell you.”

Thomas pauses, fingers suddenly gripping his newspaper tighter than before. “That sounds ominous.”

Richard has his hands clasped in front of him like he’s at confession and stares down at his shoes, which doesn’t help Thomas’s racing heart.

“Thomas. . .I — “

“Just say it.”

“I love you.”

Thomas gapes at him, relief flooding his veins. “What?”

Richard cracks a smile. “I love you.”

“And you couldn’t have thought of a better way to deliver that? Jesus Christ, I were expecting the worst,” Thomas groans, and then adds, “I love you, too, you absolute beast.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was technically three prompts - Confession/Shoes/I love you. 
> 
> And thanks to everyone who's made suggestions so far. I'm trying to get through them as quickly as possible but it's been a busy week! x


	24. Flower

“It’s good to get away from there, isn’t it?”

Thomas glanced over at Daisy as they walked to the village. “You leave Downton every night to go back to the farm.”

“Oh, you know what I mean,” she replied, flapping a hand at him. “It’s different to leave during the day, when we’re still supposed to be working.”

“Technically, we are still working.” Thomas attempted a disapproving stare but didn’t quite manage it.

Daisy shrugged. “There’s more to life than Downton, Mr Barrow.”

“I know that.”

She smiled, plucking a flower and offering it to him. “I’m happy for you.”


	25. Dancing

There are moments that this still feels too good to be true. It’s in his nature to scoff, leaning towards skepticism, but one glance at Richard is enough to dispel any doubt in his mind. Thomas has never experienced such unbounded joy. 

The man in question is fizzing with occasional giggles, as he’s been doing for some twenty minutes following a particularly dry, and rather unfunny, comment by Thomas. He’s still not sure what Richard found so amusing about it, but he’s been laughing ever since, the very sound of it dancing across Thomas’s skin, making him feel alight with love.


	26. War

“You don’t talk about it.”

“Neither do you. What’s there to say, really?”

“It left a mark, one that can be hard to bear. At least for me.” Richard paused and then added, “But I understand if you don’t wish to discuss it. I just want you to know you can.”

Thomas nodded. His leather glove hid a constant reminder of the war. Slowly, he undid the closure, pulling it off and flexing his hand, the scars stretching with the movement. 

“Your blighty?”

“My moment of weakness.”

“You did what you had to do. Sometimes wish I’d had the courage.”


	27. Jealousy

“Daisy and Andy were married today,” Thomas blurted out as their conversation wrapped up.

Richard’s voice sounded tinny through the telephone. “I’d forgotten that their wedding was approaching. How was it? Did you all go down to the church?”

“Yes, we were given a half-day to attend. It was good; odd to see Daisy walking down the aisle - I’ve known her since she were fourteen.”

“Give them my regards. I’m happy for them.”

“Mmm.”

“What? Aren’t you happy for them?”

“Happiness weren’t my first thought.”

“What was?

“Jealousy. That I’d -- that’d we’d -- that it isn’t possible for men like us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This drabble used four prompts somewhat unintentionally: jealousy, wedding, church and telephone.


	28. Parents

They had told him to visit whenever he was in York, but Thomas still felt anxious about calling on Richard’s parents without their son. 

He had finished all of his errands, and a part of him wanted to simply walk back to the station and get the return train to Downton. If he did, however, he would undoubtedly feel guilty, even if neither Richard nor his parents knew he’d been in the city.

He took a deep, fortifying breath, and set off down the lane, towards the fourth house on the right. 

He would stay for a cup of tea.


	29. Sacred

Thomas had never been a believer. He attended church when society dictated that it was important, but it was too full of cold stone and harsh ideas about salvation for him to feel like he belonged there.

Here, though. Here he was welcomed with loving arms. True, they weren’t the arms of the Heavenly Father, but Thomas would prefer the mortal embrace of the man he loved any day. 

He didn’t need stained glass, hymns or bells tolling to know that this was sacred. Here they could rejoice in the small sliver of happiness they’d managed to carve for themselves.


	30. Gramophone

“A gift for you.”

“Why? And where did you get it?”

“You ask too many questions, Thomas. Just enjoy it.”

“But it’s not Christmas or my birthday. That’s an expensive gift, that is.”

Richard sighed. “It’s an older model, and I bought it second-hand, so don’t worry about the money. I just thought it’d be nice for us to have a gramophone.”

“It is nice.”

“It is. Now say ‘thank you’ so we can listen to a record.”

“Thank you, Richard. But can I ask one more question. . .”

“Yes. . .”

Thomas held out his hand, smiling. “Will you dance with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's sent a prompt - I'm working my way through them as best I can!


	31. Book

The book sat open in Thomas’s lap. He stared at the pages, shocked yet intrigued, wanting to study it cover to cover and wanting to slap it shut.

“Where’d you get it?” 

Richard laughed. “You can find anything in Paris.”

Thomas gave in and turned the page. 

“Do you like it?”

“I’m not sure,” Thomas admitted. He wasn’t a naive virgin, but he was flushing at the sight of the erotic images. “It’s certainly arousing.”

Richard climbed onto the bed behind him, hands on Thomas’s shoulders. “I think so too.”

Thomas leaned back against him and Richard kissed his neck.


	32. Chris

“Who’s that? He keeps looking at you.” Richard’s voice was light, but there was an underlying strain to it.

Thomas swivelled his head around to look at the man by the bar. The sight of Chris Webster caught him by surprise. He had not seen him since that night at Turton’s, but he’d thought of him often. He was glad to see him free and well. 

“I met him once,” Thomas replied vaguely.

“Did you love him?”

The question startled him. “No. God, no. It weren’t like that. I only knew him for a night. _That_ night.”

“Oh, I see.”


	33. Champagne

Lord Grantham had gifted him a bottle of champagne for twenty years of service at Downton Abbey, and it sat on the shelf in Thomas’s wardrobe for months, gathering dust. He had been waiting for a special occasion.

Tonight he was in a hotel room in Durham, celebrating his one year anniversary with Richard, and he’d brought the bottle with him. 

Lacking champagne flutes, they sipped from teacups that they had located in the room, giggling and flirting. Eventually, they simply passed the bottle back and forth between them, chasing the sweet bubbles with kisses that were equally as intoxicating.


	34. Pillow

Hillwalking had never interested Thomas, only venturing out when the family wanted to shoot. But now that Richard was in his life, it was necessary to find ways to be alone together. Hillwalking provided an excuse to be far from prying eyes.

The weather was fair so they’d taken a picnic, resting against a large boulder to eat. Once finished, Thomas stretched out in the sunshine, using Richard’s thigh as a pillow, hat resting on his chest.

“It’s beautiful up here,” Richard said after a moment. “I never really appreciated it before.”

“Mm, you’re beautiful,” Thomas mumbled, eyes closed, smiling.


	35. Seduction

“Ow!” Thomas exclaimed, putting his book down and rubbing the spot on his chest where Richard’s elbow had jabbed him. 

Beside him, Richard collapsed onto the bed, covering his face with his hands and snorting with laughter. 

“What was that for?” 

Richard shook his head, struggling to pull himself together. “Not what I intended, I swear.”

“What were you attempting to do?”

“Seduce you.”

“That was your attempt at seduction?” Thomas asked, incredulous. 

“It didn’t go exactly to plan.” Richard shrugged, impish grin on his face, eyes sparkling.

Thomas heaved an exasperated sigh. ”Come here and kiss me, you berk.”


	36. Swimming

As a child, Thomas spent summer afternoons along the river. He and his friends paddled in the cold water, skimmed stones, pushed each other under the surface. They were fleeting moments of happiness, but he remembers loving the water.

He hadn’t been swimming since childhood, and now they were here in Brighton, the pebbled beach hot beneath his feet. The swimming costume felt unfamiliar and daring, but seeing Richard wearing his was enough of a distraction. 

They spent the afternoon slicing through the cool waves and lounging in rented folding chairs. His skin was pink and he couldn’t stop smiling.


	37. Longing

It was 1935. Service was changing. The big houses were disappearing. Thomas had been working at Downton Abbey for twenty-five years, and now he was considering his future. 

He didn’t know anything else, but he wouldn’t be a butler forever. And as much as he was grateful for his career thus far, the idea of living in service in someone else’s house was unappealing. 

For years now, he’d thought about being his own master and having his own home with Richard, a daydream of longing that overtook him as he went about his tasks. 

It was time for a change.


	38. Birthday

Thomas’s previous experience of relationships consisted mainly of ill-advised, short-term affairs, as such Richard’s continued presence had thrown him for a loop. It’d been eight months and his birthday was approaching. For weeks, Thomas thought about what to get him as a gift and came up empty.

Until today.

Today, he’d found an old Hampden Deuber pocket watch in a shop in Ripon. The watch was tarnished and the mechanism was broken, but it was a gorgeous piece, and Thomas was certain he could get it working again and perhaps have it engraved. 

It was perfect.

He had three weeks.


	39. Fatherhood

Lady Mary gave birth to a son called Louis. George and Caroline were thrilled about the arrival of their baby brother, but they weren’t the only ones who were excited. 

Whenever he could, Thomas visited the nursery to hold Louis. The baby had big solemn brown eyes and he seemed to regard Thomas with interest, which was perhaps just a reflection of how Thomas looked at him.

Nanny had long stopped questioning his love for spending time with the children, and for that he was grateful. For he was certain that this was the closest he’d ever get to fatherhood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This technically used two prompts - fatherhood and brother.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to suggest a word, throw one in the comments and I'll write it into a future drabble! x


End file.
